is the RFK Jr. thing funny?

it's certainly a sign of the times

RFK Jr. in the role that could have made him the president

In order to understand RFK Jr., I think you have to understand the westside of Los Angeles. There’s this odd phenomenon on the westside of LA where they’re sort of unplugged from reality and flailing about in the unincorporated future. If you go to a SoHo House in LA and talk to people about RFK Jr.’s presidential run, you’re likely to hear things like he’s asking a lot of unanswered questions.

Maybe they’re not supporting RFK Jr., but they’re open to his possibilities. The LA Times did a good, if limited, piece on his support on the westside. It would take four-thousand words to distill the political ideologies of the westside of LA and I’m not going to do that to you. But I’ll just note that you frequently meet people in Santa Monica or West Hollywood — particularly people in the entertainment industry — who know RFK Jr. He hikes on the same trails and goes to the same gyms and twelve-step meetings. And after all, his wife is a leading character on the best show about the westside: Curb Your Enthusiasm.¹

That part of LA has this sort of sage-your-house and beware-of-vaccines vibe that baffles the hell out of me.² This is where Marianne Williamson made her bones. And it’s not really weird that a Kennedy ended up here. You’ll never find a crowd as eclectic as a great Malibu party,³ at a really good one, there’s a former congresswoman, the grown-up children of B-list musicians and actors, an Italian countess, a vodka heiress. Basically people with recognizable last names.

But, then again, we kind of believe the Kennedys to be above all that. Because the Kennedys are a brand. Like Barbie or Bacardi. And unlike the Barcadi family, the Kennedys don’t make anything but they do exude something. The word Kennedy has basically become an abstract object.

And because they have ascended to the status of abstract object, it begins to feel a bit funny that this is where they’ve led. The most famous living member of the Kennedy family (if you don’t count Arnold, who’s only a Kennedy by ex-marriage) thinks WiFi sends toxins into your brain. He sounds like the guy you inch uncomfortably away from at an airport bar at 3-in-the-afternoon. But instead he’s running for president as a darling of Fox News.

Now, everybody has a crazy uncle, but imagine if your crazy uncle was a Kennedy running for president and Fox News was scaffolding his campaign. In terms of brand management — and again the Kennedys are a brand — RFK Jr.’s presidential run is as if McDonald’s replaced their da-da-da-da-dah jingle with the sound of a toilet flushing. Even Elon couldn’t have fucked up this bad — he’s only making an ass out of himself, not fifty years of American history.

There’s a good argument to be made that the promise of America began to die away when JFK was assassinated. And this is where it’s led. Abortion is illegal. The leading cause of death among American children is firearms. Our democracy is wobbling around like a drunk and race science is back. No wonder so many people are listening to the crazy shit coming out of RFK Jr.’s mouth. If his dad or uncle had lived, we might all have jetpacks. It can’t really be this bad.

So, in that sense, no. RFK Jr isn’t funny. It’s a symptom of America’s decline that people are nodding along with him. But at the same time, gullible people have always nodded along to wack-a-doodles. And it is kind of funny that this is how the Kennedy brand loses all its luster — with an old man in Santa Monica barking about how the CIA is trying to kill him.

Even if the CIA is trying to kill him, going around telling people the CIA is after you is never a good look. People tend to inch away from you at airport bars when you drop those sort of declaratives. The CIA may have killed JFK or RFK, I don’t know. But it just as well might have been the mob or the Cubans or Lee Harvey Oswald; and the Kennedys themselves might have killed Marilyn Monroe. The existence of all those what ifs doesn’t change the present reality where vaccines save lives. So no, again, not funny.

But then again, it is funny that if RFK Jr. had simply remained on his career trajectory circa-1995 when he was on the cover of New York Magazine as “The Kennedy Who Matters,” he probably could have become president. Back then, he was suing predatory corporations and cleaning up rivers and bolstering indigenous rights. He does a quick term in the Senate and twenty years after his New York magazine cover, that guy is the president. But no — instead, he decided he was going to be the guy shouting at the clouds about vaccines. And this is where that road goes.

And maybe his supporters could argue that Kennedy would never take the typical route because he’s more authentic than a typical politician. But then why is he answering all his questions like a typical politician? They ask him why he runs and he’s always banging on about helping “the people who have been left behind by Washington.” That’s how every presidential candidate talks.

So fine, RFK Jr. wants to be a politician for a few months. Maybe — and I believe it’s a long stretch⁴ — but maybe he’ll get Trump elected. What’s more likely is that he’s going to lose and along the way, he’s going to trash the Kennedy name until you can’t even use it to get into a East Hollywood dive bar. But maybe that’s alright too. Maybe the Kennedy thing was played out. The average American is now more interested by the Kardashians than the Kennedys. Maybe, like RFK Jr.’s presidential run, that’s a sign of the times. And it’s just tacky to complain about the times.

1. Not that there’s anything spectacular about rubbing-elbows with somebody who is running for president. This is America, anybody can run for president. However, for the last fifty years or so, there has been something spectacular about rubbing-elbows with a Kennedy.

2. I think the thing that stuns me about this is that these people are so smart in other areas of their lives but they have this weird mindset that tends toward something like their own invincibility. And that’s kind of where RFK Jr. comes in. The world can’t possibly be this bad. It’s so pretty in Santa Monica — the people are pretty (at least they are from a distance) and the palm trees are pretty and the drinks are wonderful, so how is the water in Flint, Michigan poisonous? It reminds me a little bit of Ross’ Paradox

3. This eclectic party vibe is a feature of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s Malibu Rising (yes, I read that Taylor Jenkins Reid book) but that’s rather a forced vibe. If you’re really looking for a better explanation of this atmosphere, you should read Goodby People by Gavin Lambert. Which is a beautiful book.

4. I think, just from talking to all the Republicans that I talk to every day — that RFK Jr. is going to take as many votes from Trump in the primary as he’s going to take from Biden.